Guys, it actually works!!! Meditation, mindfulness, breathwork I’ve always felt has been a struggle / huge missing piece of the puzzle for me, so this noticeable difference is being welcomed with open arms!

I mentioned that I recently started seeing someone for my spicy thoughts (anxiety).

Along with the sessions, I’ve been “prescribed” twice-daily meditations, morning and night, Monday to Friday.

I’ll be honest, I’m a bit naughty with the morning ones, so I often do them a bit later in the day when I find myself in a real tizz. Lol a classic case of prevention vs. treatment.

That aside… since starting, I have noticed a SIGNIFICANT difference. The meditations are ~10 minutes of breathwork and affirmations, and the effect they have on me is profound. Clocking the way I feel before vs. after is a powerful motivator!

2 examples:

• I missed my morning meditation on Monday (told myself I’d do it later in the day), and found myself in a bit of a frazzly state on Monday evening - my anxiety tends to worsen as the sun goes down (it’s giving Princess Fiona turning into an ogre when the sun goes down). When my husband got home, he sent me to our room (lol “go to your room”) for my meditation. I walked out, less than 10 minutes later, a new person. Quote from hubby: “wow, I can’t believe how effective that is”.

• Last night, my husband was out. He’d ridden his motorbike, and it was 11pm and I hadn’t heard from him. So, as is on brand for me, I started to worry. He called me and explained that he’d lost track of time and would be home in 40 minutes. Usually, I would’ve struggled to fall asleep and stayed up waiting for him / resenting the situation. Not last night! I did my nighttime meditation, and fell fast asleep (CYA!). I’d been rather jittery before the fact, so I couldn’t quite believe that I’d fallen asleep when I heard the door open. I kissed him goodnight, and went straight back to sleep. It may not sound like much, but the fact that I was able to calm myself down and fall asleep was a huge win for me. The great thing about that is that my sleep confidence only goes up, and I begin to identify as a “bad sleeper” less and less.

Now that I’m getting into a habit and really noticing the difference, I’d highly recommend an app like Headspace to anyone struggling from anxiety. Tbh just anyone really! Why not!? In saying that, it took someone keeping me accountable for me to get into a good rhythm. And now you can use me - I’m the one keeping you accountable ;)

Simply breathing through it,

Salty

I find that I can get to the end of the day and focus on what went wrong, what I was stressing about, what I could’ve done better.

And it’s no good. Literally. I’m not focusing on any of the good.

So, I’m gonna change that.

My husband, again - always looking out for me - sent me the video below a while ago.

I started keeping a ‘Bank It’ journal, where I would write down all the good things that I experienced throughout the day. And then, one day, I just stopped. Naughty.

I’m going to start again. Keep a journal in my bag (initially), and write it down. I feel writing it down will be an effective way of making this a habit. Once it’s a habit, I may choose to ditch the notebook? I’ll see. I do love the idea of being able to read back - again, we are living in the good old days.

Reframing the day, and focusing on what went well - even if it’s the teeniest tiniest thing. The more I look for the good, the more I’ll see the good.

Simply laughing my way to the “bank”,

Salty

P.S. #Spiritual Pillar feature: I saw an owl tonight, and it truly felt like a spiritual experience. A sign. I haven’t seen an owl in… I don’t know how long?! Like, you never see them, right?! I was feeling a bit anxious at the time, and after doing some research, it seems owls carry significant meaning - the one that resonated most was: “seeing an owl during a time of anxiety might be a message of encouragement or a reminder to trust yourself”. Say no more!!

@markbourisHow I bank a few small wins every day. This daily practice of "banking wins" helps remind me on what’s most important in life, which are experiences. From waking up early, to working out, helping out a friend or saying a prayer for a work colleague. I can bank all these small wins from the day and next thing you know "I’m rich". What are things in your day to to day life that you can bank as a win? #bankit #mindset #psychology #mentalhealth #health

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A lot of what we discussed was pretty simple really (hehe).

I discussed this in one of my earliest posts as it’s a huge part of why I started this blog. When it comes to being WELL, there is so much knowledge out there, so where the bl**dy ‘ell does one start? Or finish, for that matter. In that same post, I also discussed the use of four pillars (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual) as a way of categorising / breaking down the learnings.

And, if you’re someone who has perfectionist behaviours / tendencies, there’s often the paralysis that comes along with those. I touched upon this in my one of my previous posts: “perfectionist behaviours can very often paralyse my action, especially if the task at hand is a big one - “if I can’t do it “perfectly”, then I won’t do it at all”.

In this instance, the big task at hand = being WELL - in a big, noisy environment.

As my mom said: “wellness is becoming very big and very confusing for a lot of people. This can increase their anxiety even more”.

YEP.

So, where to start? Level 1.

Think of this level as your basic b*tch level. I emphasise ‘your’, as this level may look different for everyone.

What are behaviours that you can put into practice every day? With relative ease.

For me, level 1 may look like:

• waking up at the same time every day (this is in my control, vs. sleeping at the same time every night which isn’t always - dinner plans, etc.)

• not checking my phone when I wake up

• having my coffee with no distractions

• getting outdoors in the morning

• eating three meals a day

• drinking enough water every day

• walking every day

List goes on…

So, I start with level 1… the “basics”. Stick to these for ~66 days - I talked about this in last’s week post ;) create new habits, develop my new “normal”.

And then? I might want to progress to level 2. I might not. That’s ultimately up to me.

For me, level 2 may look like:

• not checking my phone within first hour of waking

• spending 15-30 minutes outdoors in the morning, within first hour of waking

• getting enough protein in all three meals

• daily 10-minute meditation

• 2-3 gym sessions per week

• x amount of steps per day

Etc, etc.

And I may flick between levels from time to time. Some months, level 1 behaviours might be all that I feel I can manage. In the same breath, these behaviours are ultimately there to help me feel and live better, so life tends to become “lighter” when I do prioritise them. Again, I think sticking to any behaviour for x amount of time is key, as that’s when it tends to become habit and I truly notice the benefit / change.

Alright, I’ll leave it there for now, as I could keep going forevs and evs. Getting better at knowing my limits ;)

More to come, always.

Simply slowing it down,

Salty

In recent years, I have learnt to live my life by the motto "expect the best, prepare for the worst". Life can be hard and challenging moments are inevitable. Expecting hardship mentally prepares me for those next hurdles and allows me to develop strengths to overcome them.

“Ask yourself what the worse-case scenario is in any given situation, then train yourself to react to this worst-case scenario if it happens” - Ikigai: The Japanese secret to a long and happy life (highly recommend this read BTW).

In saying that, it’s important that I not worry / stress about the worst until it’s actually happened (work in progress…). I spend so much time stressing about what could happen that, when it does happen (which, let’s be honest, it rarely does), I have exhausted my capacity to actually deal with it. CAN’T DEAL. Literally.

“I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened” - Mark Twain

A video my ever-supportive husband shared with me recently:

With that, I leave you with:

“Trust the process; life has a funny way of working itself out”

- Salty

Dear Diary (a la #Mental Pillar),

Got this message from my sister on Sunday night, and it got me thinking about motivation.

Just like I was always waiting for the “perfect” moment to start something, I was also always waiting to be motivated enough to start something. Turns out I would’ve been waiting a damn long time. I have found that the more I do something, the more motivated I become.

Take exercise as an example. When I’ve had time off, I struggle to feel motivated, so if I were waiting around for motivation, I might never exercise again. If I start exercising (sans motivation), I realise how much better I feel, I see my fitness improve and, because of it, I become more motivated. Motivation stems from  habit / repetition.

And, apparently, the “it takes 21 days to build a habit” is a myth not supported by science. Apparently, on average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact - .

So, instead of waiting for the stars to align, get out into the universe and align them yo’self. You’ve got 66 days… GO!

Simply getting into the habit,

Salty

“I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them” - Andy Bernard

We are rewatching The Office for the third (and not final) time at the moment, so I figured this quote was marvellously relevant.

Current (and future) subscribers, it's been a nostalgic week!! All this talk of inner child has got me in the reminiscent feels.

I decided to go and check out our old apartment in Tamarama this morning, after a nearby appointment. My sister and I moved there at the end of 2019 (from Perth), and lived there for a bit over a year. Covid hitting the shelves in 2020 meant that we spent a lot of time in that apartment and area. How lucky were we!?

We continued to visit the area regularly when we moved out (close by), but since moving again, we haven't been back in a while. So, when I headed back this morning, I found myself tearing up.

So many memories there. It was our every day at such a pivotal time. Living in a new city during a pandemic. Our last year of living together, before we moved in with our partners. And then we just leave it all behind… without really looking back.

I went down to the rocks where I used to swim (pretty much daily) with the dog we were looking after at the time. And I found myself thinking… when we played down there for the last time, how was I to know that that was going to be the very last time we did that together?!

When my mom visited from Perth and we went down for a swim, how was I to know that that would be the last swim together at our favourite spot?!

When my sister and I went for our daily coffee, how was I to know that that was going to be the last coffee run at our local?!

What I would do now to relive just one of those days.

Our first day in the apartment (even though it was a bit of a sh*t show). Swimming down at the rocks for the first time (even though I probably got bitten by something). Having our first of many coffees at the local (even though I probably shouldn’t have had that second coffee). My now husband and I saying "I love you" to each other for the first time down near the water (even though it was after an argument). My sister leaving the apartment for her first date with her now husband (even though… just kidding). All of these first times. Gone. And kind of forgotten?! Or not…

Today was such a powerful reminder that “every day is a good old day”. And that I cannot, and will not, take a single day for granted.

Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunny day, took the dog for a walk, had coffee and breakfast with my husband, drove to work (so grateful for my easy commute), had a skin check-up (all clear), went and visited my old "hood", and tonight, I’m set for a lovely home-cooked dinner and snuggle on the couch with my little family. How’s that for a “good old day”?!

My advice to us: live in the moment - soak it all up - the good, the bad, the ugly. Cliché yes, but it's overused for good reason!

And, leaving the best till last: REMINISCE. Take time out of your day to reflect on and remember the “good old days” - and yes, that includes this very day. Take a trip to your old "hood", look through photos and messages, read and write in your journal, talk about / share memories with your nearest and dearest.

DO IT ALL. Before it’s too late.

Simply living in the good old days,

Salty

And a beautifully fitting follow-up to yesterday’s post.

I had my second therapy session today. And wow was it an emotional one. I’m bawling my eyes out again just writing this. We dug into the concept of “inner child”.

Essentially, what I got out of today was that I need to stay connected to her - always. I see her smiling and running over to me. She looks deep into my eyes. She’s happy to see me and she needs me. She is proud of where I am and she can’t believe how much has changed. She is sad that we lost touch and wants us to stay close.

Today’s session felt like coming “home”. I say “home” as it has several meanings for me now. Home, for me, is where my husband is. But there’s also the home where I came from (my hometown). Again, old meets new; new meets old :) may they live together harmoniously.

I read a fiction book back in 2022 that talked about “a return to the source” (i.e., going back to your roots). I can’t quite recall what the title was, but it went a little something like this: “A return to the source - just being here felt healing. It was reminding me who I was, where I came from. I’d lost track of myself in all that madness, I realised. Sometimes a return to the source is the only thing that makes any sense”.

Travelling back to my hometown, as busy (and potentially triggering) as it can be, helps me remember who I really am. There's nothing quite like my roots to remind myself that "this is me, this is where I’m from and, actually, I’m going to be okay".

On that note, I’m heading back next month for a couple of weeks with my husband. How’s that for a nice bit of symmetry?!

And goes without saying that you’ll be on the journey too!

Simply forever young,

Salty

Found my new favourite quote this morning:

“Aging is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been” - David Bowie

Over the years, I’ve had this feeling of gradually becoming the person I always knew I was. Every year, the feeling gets stronger.

I’ve always felt like an "old soul”… wise beyond my years (if I do say so myself!) and “trapped” in a young body. Which is perhaps what the saying really means for me - my older years were always going to be my best ones. And I’m so not mad about it.

In the same breath, aging also feels like I am going back to “young soul” Alex - the Alex before anxiety took over, perhaps? Or simply the Alex before life happened, innit?! The Alex before all of the noise.

In the worst of moments, I’d always find myself saying “but this is not who I am; why am I acting like this?!”. Even if I could take my darkest moments back, I wouldn’t. Not one. With every year comes lessons, learnings, adversity… all of which have no doubt made me a better person. It may not feel like a bettering of self in the moment (often far from it), but hindsight is a marvelous thing.

As the years go by, I feel this return to myself; this return to my inner child; this discovering of my old soul. Old meets new; new meets old.

Simply aging gracefully (plus some),

Salty

So, I’ve started seeing someone… to help me with my anxiety. Hehe ;)

We’ve only had one session (last Wednesday), and I’ve been given Mon-Fri audio meditations to do - morning and night. They’re different every day and today was my first day, so I’ve only done one meditation this morning, and I’ll do one in bed tonight.

In a matter of days, I feel a significant difference.

I’ve seen people before for my anxiety and tbh, it’s never lasted long, as I’ve always struggled to see / feel the benefit. Granted I probably didn’t give it long enough, but there was never enough “there” to keep me coming back.

Here’s a few thoughts as to why I think this time is different:

• I am a point in my life where I’ve properly had enough of my struggle with anxiety and more than ever want to do something about it. Again, I feel the miscarriage and what lies ahead (from a pregnancy POV) has been a real motivator for me.

• Working with someone who themselves struggled with generalised anxiety, and no longer does(!!). I feel that they truly understand my journey, and it’s incredibly motivating for me to see that I can be “cured” (gimme!). They’ve also got a spiritual approach (energy, etc.) to therapy which, as y’all know, is very important to me - I go woo woo for woo woo!

• A practical, realistic plan. I’ve been set up with a personalised Mon-Fri plan that consists of different ~10-minute daily audio meditations, and mindset exercises. A plan that I can practice / put into place daily and is realistically achievable (from a time POV).

• Someone holding me accountable. This, I believe, is the biggest differentiator. Yes, I could’ve / should’ve easily been doing regular meditations, breathwork, mindset exercises, etc. but, the truth is, I haven’t. This morning when I woke up feeling not so motivated, I knew that there was simply no way out of my meditation. I’ve got someone else (but me) “keeping me in check”, and it for sure adds that extra layer of determination and motivation.

Looking forward to my next session on Wednesday! Will keep you guys posted of courseeee!

Simply determined and motivated (feels like for realsies this time),

Salty

“If you don’t like yourself, you can’t be well”

Too right.

Been learning more about self-worth recently - I started seeing someone this week who is going to help me with it.

I think it’s a key missing piece of the puzzle for me, and I feel like it stems from my much younger years.

On that note, this is a no blame zone. Whatever has happened has happened, and I need to figure out how to deal with it. I’m the only one in charge here.

Simply doing something about it,

Salty

Oh I know with certainty that I’m far from alone on this one. Tbh, age has taught me that I’m always far from alone!!

When I’m in an anxious spiral, I clean. I think it helps soothe me as it’s a distraction from my intrusive thoughts and, bonus, I end up with a clean, tidy space. Clean space, calm mind!? Or not… on the reverse, I also find that cleaning can cause me a lot of anxiety due to my perfectionism behaviours - the fear of not doing it "perfectly”.

The apartment has been great for me as it’s a lot more manageable! I felt a lot more anxious about this in our house, which we bought with the intention of renovating. The process took a lot longer than expected (as these things do!), and so we never really gave it the love and time it deserved. I also find that my perfectionist behaviours can very often paralyse my action, especially if the task at hand is a big one - “if I can’t do it “perfectly”, then I won’t do it at all”.

When we moved out of our house, we did a ginormous clean out (thankful for a small space, as there is quite literally zero space for “junk”), which has massively helped with my headspace. Clutter has been found to overwhelm the brain, increasing cortisol levels, and dayum this is REAL.

Overall, I think cleaning your space can be a wonderfully therapeutic task and, tbh, it's a non-negotiable one that you (should) do regularly, so best make it enjoyable!

The key, for me, is knowing when to STOP, as I do feel that it can definitely border on OCD at times!

Here are some techniques I’ve recently implemented that I’m already finding useful:

• listen to music when cleaning / tidying - how can I be stressed when I’m listening to music I love?! Music for sure lights a fire in me (it’s my love language), and makes the task at hand a lot more enjoyable. It’s also a fun distraction from any negative thoughts I may be experiencing

• set a timer - again, knowing when to STOP I think is key for me, so it’s useful having a set time that I force myself to stick to - no exceptions! I tend to use the washing machine / dishwasher timer - that way, when the cycle is done, so am I!

• set a weekly schedule - having strict, set cleaning times / days during the week. For example: I get my cleaning done during my breaks on WFH days - on Mondays, I dust, vacuum, and mop the living areas, and on Wednesdays, I do the same for the bathroom and bedrooms. Tbh, I’m still trying to work out the best schedule for me (and that may change with time), but that sounds like a good plan for now, right!? My husband was the one who suggested having a schedule the other night when I opened up to him about my struggles

• hire a cleaner to help out (if your means allow for it) - in the new house, depending on our needs, I’d like to get someone in once a fortnight to help with a deep clean. It can seem like a big expense, but it’s something that’s very important to me. I’m also the one who spends the most time at home, so if it means cutting back on other expenses, then I will make that work

• and last, but not least: leaving the space if I’m feeling overwhelmed. Going for a walk and getting some fresh air is my drug of choice - IMO, there aren’t a lot “pickles” that this can’t fix

Simply sparking joy,

Salty

P.S. Here’s a silly selfie of me wearing my new glasses that I got today! No prescription lenses, as I don’t quite need them, but I fell immediately in love with these frames and did get the blue light blocker lenses, so I’m very keen to see how they go - particularly with my night time use. Will report back obvi.

#Mental Pillar

Also, every time I write a post, I feel like a cross between Carrie in SATC and Sam in Cinderella Story.

We hosted a lovely lunch at ours today. It’s the first meal we’ve hosted in our divine, albeit fairly bite-sized apartment. Smaller than Carrie’s NYC apartment and Sam’s attic room that her evil step-monster has banished her to, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I feel so secure, happy, and cosy in this apartment.

Aight, back to hosting… which can be a bit stressayy, but is absolutely always worth it IMO. Having some of your nearest and dearest in your space is a recipe for a happy home.

I (obvi) felt a bit frazzle dazzled in the lead up to lunch as I always want everything to be lovely perfect (working on this…) for everyone. I am adoring writing these posts as the reflection helps solidify everything I’ve learnt / reflected upon that day. So, here’s what I learnt:

• you have more time than you think - when I’m feeling anxious, it feels like time is slipping away, creating a sense of overwhelm and urgency

• focus on one task at a time and limit multi-tasking - small steps, instead of looking at the big picture and counting down the hours

• start as you mean to go on - instead of rushing to the gym in this morning, I figured I’d go tomorrow - instead, I had a chill morning with my husband (breakfast, groceries, walking the dog, visiting our house renovation), which set me up nicely for the rest of the day

• find yourself the bestest, most supportive teammate. My husband and I make a great team. We communicated and figured out a plan of action for the morning - grocery shopping together, and then he walks the dog whilst I clean the house, etc etc. Divide and conquer, baby! Also, doing the groceries is way more fun together - especially when you’re buying a tonne of stuff and your husband carries everything hehe.

Alright, that’s me for today! Everyone left at around 7, which we saw as a definite sign of successful lunch. We’ve just finished tidying up, and not sure if dinner is necessary tonight hehe (although, I’m not one to miss a meal), so a few episodes of The Office, and then off to bed. How good! Gym in the morning ;)

Night,

Salty

If you struggle with anxiety, and you’re looking to change ONE thing… like, right now, then try this: give yourself more time than you think you need to get somewhere. Has anyone ever been anxious due to running early? I think not.

I cannot count the amount of times that I panic drive / rush to get somewhere, all because I’ve given myself the exact amount of time / left too late - particularly frustrating when I had plenty of time to be ON TIME. Seriously, WHY AM I LIKE THIS!? Especially with Sydney parking and traffic… I mean seriously why!?

P.S. this literally happened to me (again!) today, so this entry, if anything, is a way of holding me, myself, and I bl**dy well accountable!

I think I know why… and I referenced this in one of my earlier posts: “With anxiety comes procrastination. Vicious cycle as, with procrastination, comes more anxiety. Due to this, I tend to only get to my more challenging to-do items (GETTING GOING) when the pressure is ON. And yes, pressure can be très useful, but it can also wreak havoc on my cortisol levels, and let’s be honest… I’ve already got enough cortisol in my system, thanks very much”.

Running late is an awful feeling, and the effects of it can really linger in my system throughout the day. You think that’d be lesson enough to never do it again. Nope. It’s a cortisol party and I’m always invited!

My 3 top tips / learnings on the matter:

• If you think you need 20 minutes to get somewhere, give yourself 30

• Is there something that you can move to another day? I find I sometimes pack my days to the brimmy brim brim, and then wonder why I’m running around like a headless chook. Do I really have to do all of those things today?

• If you are running late, just chill and deal with it. It’s not catastrophic and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’re going to be late, so, instead of panicking, breathe slowly and deeply, drive safe, and learn your lesson for next time.

Simply early / on time (from this very moment on),

Salty

I’ll preface this by saying that I rarely drink. I made the call around three years ago, when I realised the detrimental impact regular alcohol intake was having on my health, particularly mentally. Huge shoutout to my sister who started the journey and inspired me to follow suit. We by no means stood out from the crowd with our alcohol consumption; we simply decided it wasn’t right for us… not our journey!

Yesterday, as I mentioned in my post, was a bit of an emotionally tough day.

So, it got to 4pm (on a Sunday), my husband was out, and I thought to myself: f*ck it, I’m having a few drinks. And so I did.

Do I regret it? Yes and no. Gosh, I love a grey area, don’t I?!

Yes, because I slept horribly (alcohol impacts good quality sleep - no one is spared from this btw #sorrynotsorry), and woke up feeling AVERAGE at best. Because I rarely drink, I know how good I feel without it, so that comparison didn’t help me this morning when I woke up feeling not so cute.

No, because I have learnt to trust myself and I made the call that was right for me at the time. Tbh, I had a bit of fun doing it and it helped me in the moment. Again, because I rarely drink, I have trained myself not to rely on alcohol… Jury is still out on this one for me, but I think that there is sometimes a time and place where I feel it’s “helpful”.

What have I learnt?

• Don’t drink when I’m feeling terribly low. I had a rough day, but over the course of the day I was able to turn it around and started to feel rather positive. I only had a drink once I reached that more positive point.

• Drink at a “reasonable” hour and not alone - I knew I could have a couple of late afternoon drinks (yes, by myself, but I wanted to be alone with my thoughts) and my husband would be home soon to join me. We had dinner and drinks together.

• Move on. As I said above, I made the the call that was right for me at the time, so there is no point tossing and turning* over my decision. I made the call and it’s been done! I’ll move on and take my learnings with me.
  * figuratively. Literally, I tossed and turned all night lol - shocking sleep, but again: I made my bed and I gotta sleep (badly) in it.

I hope that helped someone. Writing it out sure helped me, for what it’s worth!

Simply figuring it out,

Salty

I thought I may not post on Sundays, as I love the idea of having a non-tech day, and Sunday would be the best day for that. But, for now, I want to write.

Today has been a hard day, emotionally. I won’t go into it, as I’m not quite ready for that.

What I will say is that days like these make me feel so damn proud of of myself. In hard times, I find myself pretty much immediately jumping to the silver linings.

Before the event happens, I’ll think to myself: I won’t be able to survive this. And then it happens and… guess what!? I survive it. Plus some. In fact, as I get older, I think I start to thrive from it. And you know what? I think that is pretty f*cking extraordinary.

My husband often uses this quote: "Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, weak men create hard times".

Even if I could, I’d never ever take the hard times back, as I realise that they are what makes me the bestest me. As we grow, so does our experience with adversity…. right? The more years you’ve lived, the more pain you’ve experienced. Alternatively, the more years you’ve lived, the more joy you’ve experienced… which sure as heck helps with the pain!

Yes, I struggle with anxiety (the reason I started this blog) and a range of other tingy ting tings (don’t we all!?), but hot damn I feel like the strongest, bestest version of myself right now, and I credit a lot of that to the pain I’ve experienced.

Simply looking for a silver lining,

Salty

Turns out that doing things that made me happy as a child still make me happy now. Yeh, DUH!? Dancing, singing, reading, drawing, playing, swimming... just "being" in the moment. We are human BEINGS after all.

This morning, I woke up feeling fairly anxious. I've been having incredibly vivid dreams lately (feels like a restless night) and have been waking UP at around 5am every morning. Like, I'm UP UP.

As I sat there, having my coffee and eating my breakfast, I started to ruminate. Side of rumination with your eggs on toast? Nah. But in a much more real sense... yah.

SO, I did something about it. I turned the TV on and played music videos on YouTube, opting for childhood faves - think (in chronological order): Lion King, Tarzan, JoJo, Chris Brown. 'Forever' by Chris Brown got me in all sorts - 'The Office' wedding scene holyyyyy, and my sister and her husband used it as their wedding walk down the aisle song. Also, a V fond memory of my teen years was watching music videos (Rage - IYKYK) with my family on weekend mornings.

Now, I did dance. And cry a bit lot. It may sound a bit unhinged (the dog would be wildly nodding at this), but gosh it felt good. I so needed that release, and as my sister said yesterday "nothing will reach every cell in my body like that music" - she was referring to the Lion King soundtrack. IT LIVES IN US.

Well, you now know what to do next time you’re feeling a bit ergh. I’ll be right there with you!

Simply forever young,

Salty

On the contrary, if I've slept well, I wake up ready to solve the world's problems and, chances are, I'm pretty much over the thingy thing thing that got me SHOOKETH the day before.

REM sleep has been found to help us process emotional memories, which can reduce their intensity. I used to always abide by the ‘don't go to bed angry’ rule, but I now find that ‘sleeping on it’ serves me better.

Yes, there is the risk that I may not sleep well (due to being angry lol) but, in my experience, trying to force a resolution late at night when I’m tired always makes things worse, which then pretty much guarantees a sh*te night’s sleep.

Night time is when our melatonin is the star of the circadian rhythm show, and having a heated discussion at this time can spike cortisol and suppress melatonin, leading to disrupted sleep. Disrupted sleep = waking up angry. No thanks. Let’s chat in the morning, thank you please.

If I’m struggling to fall asleep, I’ll do my NSDR (10-minute Huberman Lab recording here) - I discussed my obsession with this in one of my earlier posts.

Some words for thought: I feel angry and anxious when I’m under slept. Anger and anxiety releases adrenaline (stimulant). I recently read that this this is why we feel angry and anxious when we're under slept. It’s our body's way of keeping us awake! I found this fascinating… and comforting lol.

So, next time I’m under slept, angry, and anxious, I’ll blame it on the s-s-s-sci-sci-science.

Simply sleeping on it,

Salty

With anxiety comes procrastination. Vicious cycle as, with procrastination, comes more anxiety. Tough gig.

Due to this, I tend to only get to my more challenging to-do items when the pressure is ON. And yes, pressure can be très useful, but it can also wreak havoc on my cortisol levels, and let’s be honest… I’ve already got enough cortisol in my system, thanks very much.

In the past week, I seem to have found a lil way around all of this cortisol stressful deadline pressure procrastination palaver.

I am now getting into the habit of completing my more challenging tasks before midday. Due to my natural circadian rhythm (#Science), I tend to be more alert and energetic in the mornings, when my cortisol is at its highest. From around midday, cortisol tends to start dropping, which is why I also prefer gym in the mornings - gym too close to bedtime can mess with my natural circadian rhythm, spiking cortisol when my melatonin should be ruling the roost.

So, gym in the morning (for president), followed by cracking on with my ‘too hard basket’ tasks.

The best thing about this cute new lil habit is that I’ve completed the bits and pieces I’d usually put off and think about all damn day… all before midday!

It also gives me a real sense of #Purpose from the minute I wake up. Alright, Alex (that’s my name btw), you’ve got 6 hours to get all your tough sh*it done… GO!

Simply productive*,

Salty

*before 12pm

P.S. I posted this note at 10:36am. QUEEN! Practicing what I preach ;) not saying writing to you is a challenging task per se, but I think y’all deserve my best, most alert, and energetic self!

Lol^

And to that, I respond: “not yet”. H, hope you’re reading this lol, as I haven’t responded to your text!

Truth be told, I’ve written one. Look, it’s absolutely not where I’d like to be, but it’s there and I could press send if I wanted to. But, the thing is, I don’t want to! YET… the Power of Yet (lol IYKYK).

I feel I say this every year, but every year (day!), I learn more about myself and I feel a book is currently too “set in stone” for my current struggles (i.e, perfectionist, over-thinker). What if I change my mind in regards to that particular topic? What if I no longer agree with that statement? What if that “advice” doesn’t work for someone who reads my book? WORRY LIST GOES ON (and on).
I do realise that this worry is something that I absolutely need to work on, and that’s exactly what I’m doing RN - y’all on the journey with me!

My overthinking is very much linked to my anxiety. When I'm anxious, I use perfectionist behaviours as a form of control. When I want to do something, I wait for the "perfect" moments in life. This has set me back enormously. I believe it's my defence mechanism for failure - if I don't try, then I can't fail. I've learnt that if I want to do something, I just need to start doing it. Even if it means trying and failing, the feeling of trying is far more rewarding and conducive to a happy mind.

The thing is, I will continue to change, grow, evolve, better myself until, well, forever, so I cannot let this get in the way of my dreams. In fact, I should use this notion of change in my favour - as a motivator to release MORE books, to continue sharing my learnings. People release their writings all day, every day - does this mean that they have to think that exact same way forever? Nope. As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, a great sign of intelligence is being able to hold your hands up and say: “You know that thing I said? Yeh well, I no longer agree with that and this is what I’ve since learnt”.

In another of my earlier posts, I explained that I love the idea of this blog as it gives me the ability to come back to things I’ve discussed and amend, comment, discuss, add to, clarify, etc.

And as my husband said to me the night before I launched my blog: “just start”. So, I did. And here I am.

I’ve started with this blog. And within only one week of writing, sharing, and learning, I can happily confirm that I do not intend on stopping there.

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway” - Earl Nightingale, Author.

Simply learning,

Salty

P.S. I stumbled upon this image of a book I wrote when I was teeny tiny, titled ‘My Snow Leopard and her babies’! Once a writer, always a writer hehehe.

Today’s #Mental game is Mindfulness. The IT word. BE MINDFUL AND LIFE IS GOOD.

And yes yass yay for mindfulness, but far outttt I feel it’s a loaded word.

I’ve always struggled with the concept of mindfulness, and on the weekend, I think I figured out WHY.

It’s because I’m pretty much forcing the damn thing. “Be mindful, be mindful, BE MINDFUL”… uhhhh yes sure, brb.

Today I listened to a fascinating 9-minute TED talk on how to break a habit. It reframed mindfulness as a curiosity and in the context of trying to break a habit - instead of trying to fight a habit, be curious about it.

The example used was quitting smoking (bad habit), and the advice was to have (yes, have!) a cigarette and be curious about the experience. The experiment found that when smokers were being mindful whilst having the cigarette, they actually found it unpleasant - tasted like chemicals, etc. Who would’ve thunk it!?

Now, I’m not a smoker, so I used the same exercise for naughty (nawty) habits that were relevant to me.

Some mornings, when I wake up, all I want to do is stay indoors, guzzle coffee asap, and check my phone (bad habits). Instead of fighting that, let me do it and be curious about how it makes me feel. Plot twist(!): it makes me feel awful, especially as I know how good I feel if I do go outdoors, get morning sunlight, and wait a bit before drinking coffee - the comparison helps!

When I eat crappy food (bad habit) and don’t prioritise sleep (bad habits), let me be curious about how that makes me feel. The list goes on! Again, I think the comparison element really helps here - knowing how good you feel when you prioritise doing all of the “right” things.

What’s particularly lovely about this reframing is that curiosity is considered a positive behaviour / trait, so it feels GOOD.

To wrap this up, I’ll leave you with a goodie gum drop that blew my mind: willpower often fails under stress.

So, going forward, in times of stress, I’ll turn to curiosity. Join me, would you?

Simply curious,

Salty